The Little Red Hen

Some times I feel like the Little Red Hen...

A1 had a huge night at basketball last Thursday.  He filled in for a second team who were short a player.  The game was sealed by half time with the oppostiion oer 100 poits ahead.  So the teams decided to feed the ball to A1 and let him shine.  He scored a total of 31 points and came home possibly the happiest person in the world at that moment.  Big brother caught one of his three pointers on video.  And A1 runs off doing a "DAB" ( which I still don't know what hat is haha) It's been proudly shared by family and the basketball club, and has had thousands of views.

Isn't that fantastic!!! And everyone is praising the teams and praising the basketball association for being all "Isn't inclusion GREAT!!!",,, Well, yes it is.  BUT... what they saw on Thursday night is the culmination of years and years and YEARS of hard work... largely by me.  ( I am fortunate to have a supportive husband, but the bulk of the carer role falls on me) And that stuff pales into insignificance.   I don't want to take anything away from how cool it was.  It truly was a brilliant night on the court.  It showed tolerance.  Understanding.  Patience.  Acceptance.  It showed all the things that I worked tirelessly for over the years.

Let me take you back to the beginning.

When A1 was 3 years old, his eldest siblling started playing basketball.  A year later sibling 2 started.  For around two years I spent two nights a weeking dragging A1 to their games.  I had to physically restain him, by bear hugging him in my lap, whilst they played ( I couldn't put him in his stroller as he could undo the harness).  If I let go of him he would run out the door or onto the court.  He screamed and wriggled for the best part of every game.  Eventually he learned, through my constant conversations about not runing etc. He moved on from there to runing up and down the courts pretending to referee the games.  Other parents looked on with... I dunno...sympathetic(?) smiles.

So A1 goes into year 2 at school.  The year that all kids start basketball in an after school team.  No one asked if he wanted to be on their team, so I put a team together.  It's fair to say that more than half the team were kind of lacking in natural skill, A1 included.

WHO WILL HELP ME WITH THE TEAM???
Not I said the husband... I'm busy with work
Not I said the other mums... I don't know anything about basketball
Not I said the other dads... I'm busy with work

So I became team manager, coach and scorer.... yay me.

A1 loved being on a team.  They never won.  In fact in the early days they rarely even scored a goal.  But they participated with enthusiasm.  And A1 threw a first class tantrum every time he was subbed off the court.  Yep... here comes those sympathetic smiles again... While I score, and coach and sub players.

A1 continued to play through til the end of primary school.  Big brother had finished primary school and we moved on to a basketball club.  A fanstastic group of families, and we were welcomed as a whole family.  A1 took a break from playing for a while, and continued to enjoy watching big brother play (without restraint or running up the courts. !  Go me)

Things kind of evolved from there,and next thing A1 is playing mainstream basketball with the same club as big brother.  Hubby is club president. A1 and big brother are committee members and coaching several teams.  And finally I can step back from being basketball mum. A1 also started volunteer work with the Basketball association.  A job he takes very seriously and carrys out every week with great pride. The boys and hubby are involved in basketball 6 days a week.  It's a great family sport and club. I'm proud of all of them.

And then Thursday night happens.  A1 lifts to superstar status and laps it up !  And it's shared far and wide on social media.

That's MY boy. and MY hard work in action. And damn it I'm taking some of the credit for it !

"It takes a village to raise a child"

I love that saying.  It's so true.  And by being involved in the basketball club and association we have a huge village surrounding us.  I don't regret one minute of putting in the hard yards.  I did it for a reason.  My goal in life since A1 was born, was toraise him to be a valued member of society, and for him to embrace an ordinary life in a way that HE chooses to.

So here's to me!  And all the other special needs parents out there who bust their guts, day after day, year after year, assisitng their child with a disability to live the life they choose, breaking down all those barriers ( and there are lots) to ordinary lives.  Give yourself a huge pat on the back.  You are amazing !  WE are amazing !!